Ruckus at the Movies
by Ellis97
Summary: Huey and Riley go to the movies, where they meet a very "colorful" usher.


**Author's Note:**

**Well folks, in today's story, Huey and Riley are going to the movies and will be running into their newest enemy. He's that self-hating Uncle Tom we all know and love. Who is it? Check out now!**

* * *

Our story opens up with Huey reading the newspaper on his porch. Just then, Jazmine came walking by.

"Hey Huey, what's that in your hair?" She asked him.

"It's afro pick, Jazmine." said Huey. "It's a comb for people with afros. Would you like to borrow it?"

"NO!" Jazmine pouted, then after a brief moment of silence, turned around. "Fine!"

"Okay, take my pick." Huey handed Jazmine the comb. "Think of it as a gift from me to you."

"Forget it, Huey! I don't want your stupid pick! I don't care what you or anybody else says! I don't have an afro! I don't! I don't! I don't!" Jazmine stubbornly said.

"Poor Jazmine, you just don't get it, do you?" Huey sighed.

"Get what?" asked Jazmine.

"You're obviously suffering from a textbook case of, Afro-Denial." Huey replied.

"What the heck is that?" Jazmine raised an eyebrow.

"Come with me, Jazz." said Huey.

"Afro-denial?" Jazmine meekly wondered as she followed Huey.

After looking through his library, Huey took out his book of African Psychological Cases and started looking through the pages.

"There's no such thing as Afro-Denial, Huey." said Jazmine. "I think you just made that up."

Huey sighed and read the book, "Afro-Denial: A psychological affliction wherein patients exhibit self-delusional behavior, believing that they have straight-forward, European-style hair- thereby refusing to accept the coarseness, thickness, and/or nappiness of their natural hair."

There was much awkward silence as Huey closed his book and Jazmine glared at him.

"Well I think you and your book are stupid! So there!" Jazmine stuck her tongue out at Huey.

Huey looked at his book again, "Sounds like a case of 'Ethno-Ambiguo Hostility Syndrome..."

Jazmine pouted and turned away from Huey, "I have nothing to say Huey, unless you apologize to me."

"Well Jazmine, I must admit that some of my words should have been left unsaid..." Huey deadpanned.

"Oh thank you, Huey!" Jazmine wrapped her arms around Huey. "Now we can be friends again! I knew you were just teasing me about the afro thing!"

"I wasn't teasing you." said Huey. "I don't tease. You most certainly do have an afro."

"STOP SAYING THAT! I have beautiful hair! I don't have an afro! You're just a big mean bully!" Jazmine placed her hands on her hips.

"Jazmine, please calm down..." Huey tried to reason.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU!" Jazmine ran away.

Huey sighed. "Some people these days..."

He walked into the house and sat down at the couch with Riley, who was watching something on TV.

"Whatcha watching, Riley?" asked Huey.

"It's the newest video by Gangstalicous." Riley said. "It's called, 'Thuggin Love.'"

"Riley, does any of that video seem a bit...unusual?" Huey raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" Riley asked his brother.

"Like, you do know he is saying that you should choose men over women?" Huey pointed out.

"So?" asked Riley.

"And he is wearing effeminate clothing, right?" Huey continued.

"Yeah, so?" Riley raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you find that a little...unusual for a macho rapper?" Huey asked his brother.

"Not really." said Riley. "It's not like he's gay or nothing."

Huey tried to point out something, but stopped himself, "Never mind. Anyways, I'm going to see the Black Panther movie. Wanna come?"

"Got nothing else to do." Riley shrugged.

Huey walked up to his grandfather, who was sitting on his chair. "Hey Grandad, will you take me and Riley to see the Black Panther movie?"

"The theater is only right outside of the cul-de-sac, you can go yourselves." said Robert.

"Well we'd rather drive into the city to see it." Huey said.

"Oh, I see how it is. You want to see it in a black theater." said Robert. "You know Huey, that actually makes a lot of sense. After all, you've waited a long time for this flick and we all know how quiet and attentive us black folks are in movie theaters. I'm sure you'll hear at least half the movie."

"You say it's right down the street?" Huey deadpanned.

"Five blocks, take a left." said Robert.

"Thanks." Huey said as he left to find Riley.

"Works every time." Robert said as he continued watching TV.

* * *

Meanwhile up at the nearby hill, Riley was doing something similar to what we may recall Huey did in the first story.

"Listen up posers! This whole place is mine for the taking! Ya hear? ALL MINE!" Riley boasted. "The criminal mastermind known as, Riley 'Escobar' Freeman is here to run this town! I'm packing heat! I hate cops, I don't fear jail! SAY WHAT? Hold onto your jewels because Riley is going to take your loot! Believe that! Playa haters better get outta here, cause my lead will spray..."

"You know Riley, maybe you shouldn't announce your evil plans from a hilltop." Huey walked up the hill. "People can hear you from a mile away. They might as well be dogs."

"You and I obviously listen to different types of music, Huey." Riley remarked.

"Yeah, I'm allergic to moronic gangsters." Huey deadpanned. "Anyways, I'm gonna see the new Black Panther movie. Wanna come?"

"I guess." said Riley. "I've got nothing better to do."

Huey and Riley headed to the movie theater.

"Two for the Black Panther movie, please." Huey told the ticket seller as he handed them some money.

"You know, this movie is rated PG-13 and normally I'd tell you to show some ID or have an adult with you, but since I really don't care, I'm gonna let you in anyways." the ticket booth guy said apathetically.

"Thanks...I guess." Huey deadpanned as he got the tickets.

The boys walked into the theater and discussed the movie.

"So Huey, why you wanting to see the new Black Panther?" Riley asked his brother. "I figured you'd see one of those biopics or documentary things."

"Well Riley, I am starting a new Internet blog on different black movies and TV shows, and seeing how this is apparently a big success, I've decided to be the judge of the movie and post my thoughts on it online." Huey explained.

"Figures you'd complain about it to the world." Riley deadpanned. "If it were up to me, I'd blog about Will Smith as the Genie in the new Aladdin."

The boys then went to the ticket usher section (whatever you call it) on their way to the room where the movie was showing.

"What do you two little negro boys think you're doing in my theater?" asked the usher.

"We're going to see the movie, sir." said Huey.

"Well that may be, but how do I know you little boys aren't up to something bad?" said the usher. "How do I know you're not going to record the movie or sneak in past my tight security?"

"Because we are!" Huey retorted. "Here's our tickets!"

"Lemme see that." said the usher as he looked at the tickets. "Alright, you little boys can go in, but just so you know, I'm keeping an eye on you or my name ain't Uncle Ruckus! No relation."

"Whatever." Huey rolled his eyes.

The boys walked into the theater and started to watch the movie.

"What was wrong with that guy?" Riley asked Huey.

Huey shrugged, "Beats me. Seems like one of them goddamn Uncle Toms to me. I can't stand those guys. Now hush up, I'm trying to watch the movie."

* * *

Just about two hours later, the movie was over and the Freeman Brothers were heading home.

"That's right, head home little negro children." said Ruckus. "But like I said, I'm going to keep an eye on you two African hooligans! So beware!"

"So Huey, whatcha think?" Riley asked his older brother. "Personally, I think that movie was way off the hook! Man,

"My opinions are really mixed, Riley." Huey said. "On one hand, it had some great special effects, writing, plot, character development and acting, but on the other hand, it became an overnight sensation, which I do not respect."

"So do you like it or not?" Riley asked.

"It was entertaining, but also is now mainstream, and I hate anything that's mainstream." Huey replied. "Mainstream means becoming a cash cow, which means more money and more money means more corporate sellouts and hostile takeover, which means more consumerism, which means more profits and more profits means more selling out, which leads to corporate world leadership and eventually, the end of the world!"

"Huey, you are most depressing turkey I have ever seen." Riley glared at Huey. "Nothing makes you happy."

"Well, I try." Huey shrugged.

"I'm gonna go inside now." Riley said. "Maybe I can get away from your bitching and whining!"

"It's days like this when I wish I were an orphan." Huey deadpanned.

**THE END!**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Boy, that Huey will never be satisfied, will he, folks? Well stay tuned for our next episode, where the Freemans go to Chez Wuncler. **


End file.
